Saloon Simulator is so much more than just a retro re-skin. It’s a full-blown game, with story, characters, mystery, and enough old-west vibes to make it feel charmingly authentic. Developed by a tiny five-person team at Glivi Games, this scrappy little title has ambition far beyond its budget, and they put their energy exactly where it counts.
You play as “Cheyenne,” a down-on-his-luck cowboy who gets physically thrown into the mining town of Blueberry (which definitely feels like a cheeky nod to Red Dead Redemption 2’s Strawberry). Your job? Rebuild and run the local saloon. That means pouring drinks and serving grub, sure, but it also means breaking up bar fights, cleaning blood and vomit off the floor, dragging injured patrons to the doctor, and sometimes… disposing of the occasional corpse for the mortician. You know. Bartender stuff.
The cast of characters is surprisingly fleshed out. There’s Cheyenne himself, trying to pay off a debt to the menacing Locke. There’s the self-righteous Sheriff Custer, the friendly carpenter Earl, the photo-obsessed junk-man, and a mysterious character named “W” who keeps handing you ethically questionable odd jobs. The town feels alive, and it gets livelier as your saloon improves - more customers, more bar brawls, more opportunities to accidentally poison someone if you mix your cocktails wrong.
And about those cocktails? This might be the first game where I actually felt myself becoming a bartender. At first, I followed the recipes like a nervous kid at their first job. Two ounces of this, one splash of that, shake, stir, glass, garnish. But after a while, I didn’t need the instructions. I just knew. It was muscle memory. I could whip up a drink in seconds, and it felt amazing. Add that to the kitchen duties - making meals for hungry cowboys who will absolutely eat whatever slop you give them, but tip better when you serve their favorite dish - and you’ve got a gameplay loop that’s both satisfying and addictive.
There’s a kind of meditative quality to the whole thing. The soundtrack isn’t intrusive. The world is quiet. You’re just running around your saloon, managing your inventory, keeping things clean, upgrading furniture, unlocking rooms, cooking, pouring, sneaking past the sheriff, helping W with god-knows-what shady nonsense… it’s busy, but it’s also relaxing.
And yeah, okay the animations are a little janky, and some of the visuals are rough around the edges. But I’m honestly impressed with how much story and variety they squeezed into a game built by five people. You can play it safe and run a classy, reputable saloon… or you can turn the place into an old west version of Breaking Bad. Your call.
By the time I really got going, I was juggling five different things at once: serving drinks, frying meat, decorating a newly built guest room, bribing someone to keep their mouth shut, and trying to keep the sheriff distracted long enough for a dead body to get wheeled out the back door. Peak gameplay.
So if you, like me, thought Saloon Simulator was going to be a quirky little throwaway - think again. It’s got charm, grit, and just the right amount of “what the hell am I doing” to keep you hooked. The full game launches July 15th, and if you’re into simulator games, western vibes, or just want to feel like the busiest bartender-slash-murder-cleaner in the west, it’s definitely worth a shot.
Just don’t forget to wipe down the bar.
